Could it have been avoided? Could we have not undergone the last 3-4 days? I don’t know. If we had to to undergo them, could we have done something different to make it less painfull. Maybe. Maybe…we could have done so many things differently to make it less devasting…but then if we had taken those precautions..probably it wouldn’t have happened at in the first place…probably.
Sad..angry..resilient…how do I feel? I have been asking myself this for the past two days..a bit of each..different at different times…depending on the visual I get on my TV screen. But to my own surprise…I realised just a few moments ago that with each of those emotions something else was constant.
This time…there was a sense of resignation…was I really surprised with the attack? Am I really hurt? Am i outraged? I do not know. Like with all other things not correct in life, I have got used to it. Not just me…I think everyone..all of us have gotten used to it. We let. Our reactions now seem mechanised…reactions of condemnation…outrage…sorrow..anger…Im not sure anymore if we mean them any more…I know we want to..we are trying hard too..but something is missing…I think resignation has taken over.
Almost as if I’m trying to convince myself all those innocents have died of natural cause…massive mass heart attack…maybe.
Although the reactions have been stonger than of previous attacks…strongest so far maybe..what use? They are not going to materialise into something that would prevent an encore. There will be another attack..unfortunately may be even stronger..but its ok..because as sure as I’m of that, I’m sure that our reactions…resolves will do well to match the magnitude of it.
As the commandos secured the hotel..mission accomplished…filed into the bus minus couple of their partners. A small gathering of onlookers approached the bus…shook hands..wished them…and congratulated..thanked them as they broke impromptu into our national anthem as a mark of respect. I saw in the proud,content & teary eyes of one of our heroes..a look which told me- “This is enough for me…a mere thanks…I’ll go in a thousand times…die a thousand times”.
I thanked him too..then apologised.
